apple tree

i am sitting on a bench in a park. i still haven't slept and my eyes are burning from exhaustion. the world feels electric, the trees sway from the wind and the leaves rustle, almost like a whisper, and i can see each one of them tremble in fear or in excitement. it is cloudy, there was a bit of rain in the morning and the sky feels like it's about to give in at any moment and start crying. it is around ten in the morning. i am near the edge of the park, overlooking the road with trams and cars whizzing past. people are walking, stepping on puddles, dirtying their shoes.

i do not remember how i got here, but i remember not breakfasting. my stomach grumbles. i have not eaten since yesterday. behind me is an apple tree, i know that instinctively. i remember searching for it as i came here. i have never seen it bear any apples, but it flowers every year. the remnants of the white petals are on the ground, the bloom is over now and all that is left are just green leaves. i am sitting still on the bench, only my hair rustling in the wind. i close my eyes and try to remember the last time i was here.

it was years ago, when i was still in school. i remember the day was sunny and bright, i remember how hot my black hair was under the beaming sun. i remember sitting on a bench not far away from here, looking over the road and the sidewalk. it was quiet that day, the rush hour had ended and gave way to a lazy afternoon. there was an elderly couple walking, man and woman, holding hands. the man was looking at the woman. the woman was pointing somewhere into the distance. i overheard their conversation.

"there she is! i doubt she even remembers us," the woman said. the man nodded silently.

"d'you think she'll recognise us?" she continued. "look at how she's grown!"

they made their way to the apple tree. it was smaller back then, though only slightly. there were white flowers on its branches. i remember watching as the woman stepped off the even sidewalk onto the grass and made her way towards the tree. she touched the branches carefully, gently, looking at each leaf. the man stood alone at the edge of the asphalt and the dirt.

i left at the moment, an overwhelming sense of anxiety taking over me. last thing i remember seeing was when i turned around. the man had made his way to the tree, taking a selfie with the woman. i tried to control my breathing and calm myself down.

i open my eyes. there is no man, no woman here now. the tree has grown. i haven't seen that couple ever since. i turn around and look over at the tree. it stands there, proud, alone, as if it does not let any other trees near itself. there are some shrubs next to it, but they are wilting. their leaves are yellow, some have fallen. sickness taking root. i stand up.

i hover on the edge of the asphalt and the dirt. a part of me feels afraid, my muscles tense and i clench my fists and jaw. the wind picks up and i see the tree's leaves rustle. my hair flies into my face and i move my hand to get it out of my field of vision. i nod at the tree politely, then step away slowly and turn around quickly. i make haste. i glance behind myself one last time. the tree still stands, i see one leaf bounce up and down after a raindrop hit its green face. then i feel the downpour start and i run home.