here lies the dead body a god
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4th of June, 2024 | 04.06.2024 | unavailable on medium
on my desk. my laptop tells me that it is 1 am. i have a dead body of a god in front of me. i can hear a siren from my window - an ambulance passing by. i doubt that calling the emergency phone number will do any help.
it is not big. in fact, it is quite small. radiating heat. it is warm and slightly bright. i can almost see as small dust particles fly from it. it is decaying.
i don't know exactly how this small (seemingly benevolent) corpse of a god appeared on my desk. i went to the kitchen for a midnight snack (mostly crackers) and then returned to this. no note attached. but it certainly is a god, what else could it be?
it has the body of a human. it has hands and feet and a head. it has eyes and a nose. it has no hair. it is smiling and its eyes are closed. it seems to be sleeping, but i know that it is not. it is dead. i've touched it and felt no heartbeat (do gods have hearts? i've always thought them to be cruel). it is naked. i blush slightly. i've never expected to meet a god, let alone naked.
i think i was eight when i was first asked if i believed in god. it was a girl from my class.
"do you think there's god?" i remember her asking. i was small back then (i mean, we were all small), it was recess, we were having lunch.
"what's a 'god'?" i asked. i pretended not to know who (or what?) god was. i knew, of course. my mom was an atheist, but my dad was a muslim. my parents often fought and my mom grew to hate Islam. i didn't. well, at least i've unlearned that hatred now.
"um..." the girl thought for a moment. she was probably Christian (most of the kids were from Christian or atheist families in my school). "he is the guy who made humans."
"i thought it were monkeys who made humans." i was a devious child back then. i liked to tease other children, pretend that i was stupid. "did god also make monkeys?"
"i think he did everything."
"how?"
"i don't know."
"then how do you know he exists?"
"i just do."
i shrugged my shoulders.
"i don't."
it seems that i have been wrong. there is a god, if not the god. you know, the thing (guy?) reminds me of Buddha a bit. maybe buddhists are right after all. i wonder what i will reincarnate as?
i plop my mug on the table near the dead body of a god. i sigh. what do i do? i poke the guy a little. his skin is white, pale, slightly green. it smells mouldy. how long has he (it?) been dead for?
i'm afraid to touch him (or her, they don't really have any genitals). maybe i should try and put them in a box? figure out where they came from? for the first time in my life i actually ponder whether i should pray. how do i even do it? do you have to kneel and put your hands together? or maybe i should try and do it like those monks? through a trance?
it is a bit disappointing, quite frankly. not the corpse of a god on my table (although that too), but the realisation of it. have i been wrong my entire life? i mean, the guy surely is a god or an angel or something supernatural, i don't know. should i go to church now? are they even open?
it does make a bit sense that there are many gods out there. although, for all i know, maybe this is the only true god out there. maybe the world doesn't have a god anymore?
i turn on TV and flip through the news channels. nope, nothing much happening in the world (apart from starvation, genocide, earthquakes and floods, political scandals, and all the other stress-inducing things that i don't have the time to care about right now). i assume that if a god (the god?) was running the world, then maybe things would get out of control when they would die.
come to think of it, how did the little guy die? i look around their body for any signs of bruises or maybe stabs. gun shot wounds? do angels have guns?
it is 2 am right now. i am tired. i have an exam tomorrow (and i don't think saying 'sorry, there was a dead god on my table last night' will be a good excuse). i should go to bed.
i go to bed.
the next morning, the world is still there. i hear dogs barking. cars going by. have i slept in? i panic and stumble for my phone. no, i still have half an hour before my alarm clock. i look over at the desk. the dead body of a god has completely disappeared. was it a dream? or maybe the guy just decayed fully and now my room is full of dead god particles. god (ironic), i hope it's not the latter.
there is a note on the table. a sticky note, you know, the ones they sell in stationery stores? it reads:
"thank you for keeping them for a while. we had to organise their funeral. hope it wasn't a bother! don't worry, we'll repay you once the time comes (if the time comes, we are not sure about your biology and religious beliefs). with love, xoxo."
huh. so that's that. i go to the kitchen and put my kettle on.
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